Yoga! Ever tried it? Ramblings of a (hopeful) loser!

We actually did this pose.

I am sure I've mentioned it several times in my blog but I am a yoga-gal! I've gone for years and one of my best girlfriends is an instructor. But just like the self conscience fat girl I've always been, I feel like I have been on the reserve. Ya know standing in the back, always tugging at my shirt...having a hard time concentrating due to mirrors on all four sides showing my most beautiful (not) body! But regardless of that I still have always loved yoga.  I miss it when I don't get to go..retract that. My BODY misses it when I don't get to go. If you can recall, back when I started my blog I posted a few personal goals and one was to be able to wear cute yoga clothes. I am just remembering that I in fact even typed it here..not there yet but I did just complete a NSV for myself. I went to an advanced yoga class and it kicked my ass. But in a good way!

I have a hard time remembering to post or simply even coming up with NSV. Not sure why. But I do. However my BFF Robin, the dietitian/yoga instructor/skinny all her life/insatiable sweet tooth/mother to my God Daughter/fantastic but still very skinny friend talked me into taking a class with her. I asked several times if she thought I was up for it. I mean can I do it...will they make me stand on my head? She said over and over that of course you can, you've been doing yoga for years! She has been known to lie just to get me to follow along! Tuesday night I went! 1.5 hours of Advanced Yoga. Both men and women...it kicked my ass, I had sweat dripping down my face, but I kept right along! There were only a few things I had to modify to keep a pose but I DID IT!

Yoga is for me and my sister both a little emotional. Like her if we have a really good class then during the last 10 minutes of relaxation we can get a little weepy. It isn't a bad thing and no one else really notices but it just simply is a release. Well the last time I got this way was after my first miscarriage. I had skipped yoga and any other "social" activity involving my friends and family for quite some time. I didn't want to see anyone, talk, or express any kind of emotion. I wasn't really unhappy. I just didn't want to talk. And people talk. They want to know how you are...I don't like to talk. Well not after that part of my life. I can't recall how long it was after but I finally went back to yoga. I had an intense class and felt great and then here comes relaxation..I cover my face during relaxation with an eye bag that has lavender or some soothing smell....all the sudden I am tearing up. And they just keep coming. Fast. I recall the feeling of the contractions while I was miscarrying. The heart beat type feeling and my body doing what it was naturally supposed to be doing just at the wrong time. I was about 13 weeks along. I just stood up quietly and left and just kept bawling.

Now to anyone that might seem like a sad story. And it is but for me it was a release of a different kind of cry. Believe me up until that point I cried plenty. Out of pain and anger and sadness. This was just a release and after...I was so much better. I could talk. I accepted and I kept going.

Tuesdays ADVANCED yoga (notice I keep posting advanced hee he) class found me in a similar place although much less tearful. But I did get a chance to release a few tears secretly and it made me feel good. I thought about the last time I cried during a yoga class and that brought up a little emotion there but what it  mainly did was remind me of  how good of a place I am in right now! Not totally there yet...not even close really...but a good place! So even though I am sore as hell...two days later...I feel good about where I am. So yay ADVANCED yoga class! I will visit you again on Tuesday..Without my ultra thin/dietitian/sweet toother/friend who will be in Hawaii damn it.

In Other News:

I have managed to work out every day this week! Go Me! I hope I type this and then actually go to my class this afternoon. But that is the plan. Monday: legs, crunches on the ball, elliptical and bike (3miles), Tuesday: ADVANCED yoga, Wednesday: 1 mile on elliptical, 1 mile treadmill, 2 miles on the bike, Thursday: Zumba, and Friday I have another yoga class! How much have I lost? 1 measly little lb. I hope the fact that TOM arrived yesterday has something to do with that!

Monday night I met Kathryn. My dear best friend since we were 13. It must be said that she also has a beautiful figure even 7 months after a baby. She is curvy and just lovely. But what else she also is happens to be kind and noticing. She is my one friend who goes way out of her way to make me feel beautiful. She compliments and notices definite things. She doesn't just say I look good. She points out what has changed. No one else does that for me. Maybe my sister but I don't get to see her that often. But my dear Kathryn does. Which makes me so very lucky to have her. ANYWAY. We had our weekly martini session and gab and we started planning a little weekend away with just us. Not sure when it will be as we are both so busy and broke! But early summer me thinks! Tuesday was ADVANCED yoga. Wednesday night was GNO (girls night out) with some local girls in the area. This is about 10-15 ladies of all ages and they seem to all have a good connection all of the local charities, clubs, and groups. I have known most of these girls all my life but perhaps they weren't in my "circle". I've been invited to start coming to GNO by my friend Mandy (birthday picture girl) and her mother and for networking purposes I thought it would be a good idea to go. Ya know I could peddle and promote my wedding and party events items. So my intention was  to enjoy myself and network but let me tell you these ladies are a hoot. Funny word but totally the right one a Hoot! They all enjoy a good drink, they all like good food, they all laugh like crazy and most of all at themselves, and they all have included me and included me very easily! I have had so much fun. So last night was a Mardi Gras themed GNO. We met at a Cajun Restaurant and we all bring party favors for the theme. Tons of beads, masks for every one, and lots of candy. I've even talked shop several times so I really am networking! Yay.

Last but not least my sister in law who is also an Amanda had her baby on Feb 26th. 1 week after my birthday! Ava Leigh! We are excited and happy to have her but also a little sad because we live so very far away. I can't see when we can return to the UK since we are so busy but hopefully it will be soon. They want us to come but sometimes it is hard to get away when you have your own business. Especially one where you run it yourself every day. We can't seem to get through to people how difficult it is. This economy also means we can't just close for a week either. Most of the time our equipment means other people can work too and if they can't rent from us then they go some where else. No Go. So anyway we will try to go soon. Without further adieu.. here is Miss Ava. Our second Niece:

She is beautiful and looks just like her big sister!

So I hope this hasn't been a depressing post. It wasn't meant to be. Trust me I am very candid about my baby tribulations. Mainly because I think miscarriages are taboo in conversation. They shouldn't be because something like 25% of women have had one. But people don't know what to say. So I just openly talk about it. We all have painful events in our life and these were 2 of mine. But this post was about my release of emotion in a good way!

love,  ~A