Thank you Jess!~ Comments from the end of the week

Jess gave me another Stylish Blogger award! I want to say thank you to her and apologize that it has taken me so long to respond! Jess is a beautiful girl who has already been so successful with this band! I wish she were here right now to make that bagel pizza she posted in her last blog! :)

~

I hesitate to write anything today. I am trying with all my mite or might (which is it?) to keep my chin up and realise that it takes a while for this "thing" to get in it's groove. Success doesn't happen over night and I know that. Neither does failure. There are always ALWAYS ups and downs and it is just silly to be down when I have already had success.

I went back and read a load of blogs from beginning to end. I wanted to see how it was for the ladies that are a year out...two years out. Not so different really then me! So quit your bitchin' Amanda.

My work week has been irritating. I see the good in people mostly and then I just get disgusted with how bad some of our customers can be. We've had two this week who have just sucked the energy out of both me and my husband. To the point where it looks like we are going to have to take some legal action with one. Chris and I rarely argue. (I bicker) with him but we rarely both raise our voices. Not the case this week. Just plain testy. And it all has been about work.

I still hesitate to type any of this blah-ness.

I hesitate because a blogger out there who I don't follow but many of you do. Someone who obviously has touched several of you. A blogger who a lot of you BOOB ladies got to personally know....has lost her husband and I am heart broken for her. Tears have come to my eyes reading the little comments and poems you all have made on your blogs for her and I just know she and her husband are special people.

So all of my blah ness is just silly. Normal and everyone goes through it but it isn't worth it to continue posting about it this week.

My heart goes out to Barbara whom I never knew and to her family.

Up, down, Up, Down. Awards and just stuff!

I have another award! This one is given to me by Ronnie! Ronnie and I were banded a few days apart and is doing fabulous! Thank you Ronnie for my  Stylish Blogger Award.

I also wanted to say hello to my new followers! I look forward to getting to know all of you and I welcome all comments. If you have a blog please leave me the link in my comment box and I would love to follow you all as well!
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I feel good people. I mean good. But my attitude yesterday and today sucks! It has been one week since my first fill and I have not lost ANY weight. A couple of things I have noticed and that I have to keep reminding myself is that I am working out daily. 3 days a week I am on the treadmill for 1.5 miles. I do the bike for about 1.5 miles and then I do some weight lifting for 20 minutes. 1 day a week I do yoga for an hour. Next week I am starting a 20-20-20 class which is 20 minutes of cardio, 20 of core, and 20 of Pilate's and yoga. I plan on doing that one day a week. I am building some muscles.

I KNOW that my gut is shrinking. I can see it in the mirror. I really can. My clothes feel better, my boobs are smaller (just a little.. I have a huge rack). I feel good for the most part. My eating has not been bad either! Some days 800 calories is just about all I can muster. But most days it is around 1000-1400. I am doing good on protein...But I feel kinda nauseous. I am hoping that it is the new birth control I am on and the bartiatric vitamins that I am taking.

I KNOW that next Tuesday I get another fill and I know that it takes a while to get this thing at a good spot. But I wanted to be at 215 by now. I fight the urge daily to even consider failing. That statistically I may be one of those people who this doesn't work for! But in my heart of hearts I KNOW that isn't true and that this will work. 30lbs from day one is not a failure. I am just moody. IF I can get to a healthy weight, feel good, and keep smiling this will have worked!

EVERY person around me is moody. The weather is gray, people are depressed, couples are bickering. I think it is just wearing me out. I can't seem to even motivate myself to clean my house up! It is straight but I need to get to the scrubbing! Sunday I did very little. My husband played with his new chain saw with my dad all day. When I say play I mean cut wood. Worked. I did nothing! Blah!

I said last night to my husband that I am just blah. Not depressed. Just blah. One day I am up, up, up and then the next I am just down, down, down!

bandster hell. yep.
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AWARD

The rules of accepting this award are: Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated.

1. I am a small business owner. My husband and I bought our family business and I can talk about skidsteers, trachoes, floor sanders and the like. I can also sell a weedeater and a chainsaw. (we do party rentals too on a very small level) Different because when I graduated from college I worked in corporate aAmerica. I traveled and trained mangers and wore high heels in the city everyday! Now I work 6 days a week, with my husband and dog, and could not be happier.

2. I love Bethenny Frankel. A girl crush. Seriously. Do you know who she is? She is harsh and brash and a little nuts and I typically would not get so attached to a celebrity but I love her and I wish her plenty of success.

3. I am such a social person. But I really really love just hanging out at home. My calender is full all the time. But I go through a couple of weeks every so often that I want nothing to do with anyone. Except my husband and pets. I try to let people know that I just need a break.

4. I HATE vacuuming. Not the actual act really. Just the outcome. My attitude is much better towards my husband if he just does it for me. I am never satisfied with how the vacuum does. EVER. But if he does it it just seems cleaner.

5. I love crafting. I haven't done much in a long time due to lack of time and space. But that will all change soon. We have remodeled our basement to be a craftroom for me. Yay! I will show you pics soon!

6. I swam for 18 years competitively. I started when I was 5 and swam through highschool and college. I also taught lessons and coached high school swimming along with some life guarding. I loved it. But it makes going to a public pool no fun! I am constantly looking for danger! :)

7. My husband and I met online.  Through mutual friends and through music. We had no intention of being a couple and we dated for 4 years before we got married. If you can call traveling back and forth from England every 4 months dating. I am positive there is no one else out there that is this perfect for me.

15 bloggers. I can't do it. I like you all. There is something about all the people that I follow that keeps me sane. So you all win. Cop out..perhaps but there you go!

A-Ha (Steve Coogan esque) Some advice from LDswims!

I ask for advice and I receive! I take everything you all say and think how it pertains to me. File it correctly in my brain and use it where I see fit. But just like everyone else..at least I think everyone else does this??!...Sometimes there is something said that finally just clicks in my tiny little brain! Yesterday was that day and it came from LDswims. So thank you very much!

If you all recall a few blog posts back I asked "How do you know you are full?" How do you know before you have taken one to many bites?" Most of you had the same problems..we were similar in loads of ways!

LDswims comment:


" A very wise bandster once said the trick isn't to eat as much as you can. The trick is to figure out how little you need. Generally, the band isn't going to stop you from eating too much. It will give you Thanksgiving full much quicker than sans band. But you CAN eat around the band...a good piece of advice there - don't learn how to. This wise bandster started out by measuring her food. She was advised to eat 1/2 cup at each meal. So she started with that and saw how far she went. She knew when she got to the sweet spot when that amount of food actually made her feel full and carried her for the hours between meals. And from there, she started working backwards. How "little" food made her feel full AND carried her to the next meal. Turned out it was closer to 1/3 of a cup was all she "needed". I am like you, its the taste that keeps me going for more. But I have also found that really really chewing and taking my time and eating small bites allows me to actually enjoy my food more now than I did before the band. And if I do all that stuff...I can't eat/don't want 1/2 cup either. So like she said, don't eat as much as you can, figure out how little you can get away with."


Now..for what ever reason it finally clicked. I know the rules, I know what I am supposed to do, and I know the results I want to achieve. Getting there is the struggle. I have always been a weigh er and a measurer of food. I started this way back when I  started to calorie count. I trained myself to know how many calories were in a serving of pasta...mayo..tuna! You name it I knew it. I knew what a serving size was. I knew how many tortilla chips I could have before I reached a calorie level I didn't want to reach! I could spout off figures at the drop of a hat! I think you get my point!

Now I didn't always use this to my benefit. Only when I was being good and watching what I ate. I was successful for the most part. Until I stopped caring and just ate. But I still knew how many calories that chicken salad had in it.

Now that I am banded I thought all that knowledge would be helpful. I started my calorie counter App on my iPad. Which...I love. I log with it every day. I also have been measuring my food for the most part. But here is where I have been doing it wrong. Wrong for me that is:

I have been measuring out food so I know exactly how many calories are in a serving of lets say "Italian Beef Stew" that I made last weekend. Exactly what I have always done. A serving might be 1.5 cups. Not measuring out a half of a cup and seeing if that will fill me up. I have been adding the calories to see what a serving is so I can log it. And then feeling way to full after eating. Not really using my brain and there for I would eat what was in front of me regardless of it being a 1/2 of a cup or not. It was a serving. "A serving should fill me up" I said to myself. Not accounting for the fact that a serving is probably way to much now that I am banded.

Do you guys get that? Am I typing it in a way that actually makes sense? My Ahh-Haa moment??? Or am I just babbling? I babble a lot!

I need to eat like a bandster and not like a regular person. Which means less then a "typical" serving.  AND then see where I am in fullness! THEN time myself and see how long it is until I need another meal.

Then have a fill if I am eating to much!

I am repeating this concept over and over to my husband. Mainly because I want it to make sense in my blog. He is laughing at me. But even if I am not coming though loud and clear I think I have turned a corner in MY actual thought process. Now to actually do it in my day to day. Now I need to figure out how to log this in my calorie log. But for the first time I have really made a connection in how to do this. I am excited. Renewed energy! Not scared at moving forward and making mistakes! And a little hungry. I think I will have some greek yogurt! :)

~A

PS: Steve Coogan is a British comedian who has a character called Allan Partridge. My husband loves Allan Partridge. Allan loves Abba and when ever I say A-haaa I think of Allan Partridge (cause he says it funny), my husband, and abba. So there for that is why A-haaa is said in Coogan esque!

An Award! Thanks Manda!

MandaPanda gave me an award! Not only do we share the same name...we share the same nick name! I've been called Amanda Panda by various people all my life! She is a great gal so check her out! Thanks again for the award, Spider Monkey. (Twilight reference there for you Manda)

Rules of the Award

With this award I need to list five guilty pleasures and then pass this on to three fabulous (& sweet) bloggers that I know and love.

Guilty Pleasure #1:

Cheese. I love cheese. I can hardly pass it up! If I could never have cheese again in my life I am not sure what I would do. It's making me sad to think about a world without cheese!

Guilty Pleasure #2

Oak Leaf Wine from Walmart. It is $2.97. At Christmas it was $1.97. They have all the typical types. I love expensive wine. But I love this cheap wine. It has become a running joke among our friends. We always bring this wine to our parties. I am a dry white kinda gal but even the reds are great! I HATE cheap red wine. Except Oak Leaf.

Guilty Pleasure #3

Sweet Chili Sauce and Ken's Asian Sesame Light. I am grouping these together because it is the same kinda obsession. Sweet Chili Sauce- From The World Market. It costs $2.99 in a huge bottle. I can buy it at the regular store in a small bottle for $2.99. I buy it 6 at a time. I live about an hour away from the nearest World Market. When ever..and I mean every time..I cook something with this sauce for guests they are dying for the recipe. So I always have an extra bottle to give to company. It is great on chicken, ribs, fish, stir fries, EVERYTHING. In fact I have 3 in my car right now that I brought back from my trip on tuesday for other people. Ken's Asian Dressing Light- hands down one of my fav dressings and in 5 years I have never gotten sick of it. I can hardly find it now in this small town so when I see it I buy all of them. I have 4 in my pantry right now.

Guilty Pleasure #4

Taking a bubble bath with my iPad. Yes. You heard (read) me correctly. I set it up on the closed toilet lid, put a TV show on and enjoy a steaming hot bath. With bubbles. No lie. I took a bath for one hour and 45 min. yesterday after I was done being a Child Care Provider for my friend! I missed that damn iPad when my husband took it to England. I still read all the time and a bubble bath was the place I did a lot of reading. The iPad has taken over.

Guilty Pleasure #5

Historical Fiction about anything... but mostly about English royalty. Kings and Queens and all that scandal. Nothing current. Always 100's of years ago. I am a reader of fine literature. I've read lots of classics. But give me a Phillipa Gregory novel and I will breeze through it. I need it in print too. No iReaders for books either. I can't seem to read a novel on my iPad yet. I need to turn the actual page!


Now to give the award to three people! I enjoy all of you for many reasons. But I think I shall share this award with :

Lee Ann : She has an amazing attitude especially when things aren't going her way!

Violinist : She cooks! I love cooks! She shares great recipes and is just a nice lady!

Annie : Because you always has positive things to say! AND she loves sushi. I love sushi, too!

A fill baby...Yeah! (Austin Powers esque)

So yesterday I went to see my surgeon for my post op appointment! I saw my PA and I think her name is Jen. She reminded me that she assisted with my surgery and at that second I do remember meeting her a minute before I was out like a light!

I love her. She was friendly, chatty, and answered all my questions before I even got my list out! She asked me about food habits and how long I was feeling full. Then she thought it was a good time for a fill! The nurse who took my weight and BP didn't think they would give me one since it was the first appointment after surg! But I am glad she was wrong! It is a long day driving as far as we do to get seen. Don't get me wrong, we get a little shopping in, get to go to a yummy place to eat..but don't just look at my incision and send me on my merry little way! Fill me baby!

But Jen filled me. Didn't hurt AT ALL! I wasn't nervous in the least. I don't know why but I haven't be nervous about anything medical throughout this whole things. It felt weird. Like someone was poking at a rubber band..and then I was done. Gulped my water and away I went. I am back in two weeks for another fill if I think I need one!

I really like both my Surgeon and my PA. They both seem to be aggressive in getting this "thing" to maximum working condition. No waiting around..unless I feel like halting. We even talked about pregnancy. I mentioned that I started birth control pills on Monday...so we had a discussion.

I told her my plan was to wait at least a year to try. She agreed that was smart but not to worry if I decided other wise. "We would make you comfortable and get right back into losing after". So pleased with them!!

About Birth control!

I have never found a birth control pill that worked for me. I didn't give many a fair shot but the couple I tried made me feel like utter (explicit word). They would make me gain weight which I never needed. They would make me a(another explicate word). They would make me sick to my stomach. You name the symptom and I would have it.  However at this point in the band game it is pretty important to me that I get down to A goal before Chris and I attempt this whole pregnancy thing again. Notice I said a goal and not down to my dream goal. I did that because I feel if that I could be happy at a lot of weights that are much much lower then what I am today! So I will not set myself up for possible failure if I don't make dream weight. Hell I didn't even post that number on here! Anyway anyway..so I called my OB/GYN. They prescribed me a little white pill and away I go.

So within 2 days I started birth control, started my period, and got a fill! I am currently 9.5 hours out from my fill and 1.5 lbs down. Insanity only because normally when I am TOMing I gain! Downward trend?? I think so!

You guys. All of you...are just awesome women. My life is full of awesome women. But I don't "know" you ladies. I mean I  know you but I can't touch you or have dinner with you...but every flipping day you guys help me. I put you all in my conversations all the time. "So *n* so was banded a year ago and is down this much", "so *n* so had about the same amount of weight to lose as I do and is past her goal", "so *n* so loves a dirty martini", you get my point. But you all comment on my mini break down questions and you calm me down and for that I owe a great debt. All I can hope is that I can be as helpful as you all have been for me!

Today I am baby sitting for my BFF since I was 13! You remember when her baby was born a few months back. He was in the ICU for a week. Well this kid is growing and huge now! Doing fabulous! Anyway her sitter had surgery and is out for 4 weeks. I volunteered to take Wednesdays! She is so worried that this is a problem for me. Worried that she is taking advantage. Wha-What? You are my best friend! Of course I will help when I can!  KNOW what I get out of the deal, besides hanging out with a cute 4 month old? She is going to vacuum out my dirty dirty car! That to me is worth it. I hate cleaning my car...I love when I car is clean. My husband does a fabulous job but I didn't want to ask him.  (since he is remodling my kitchen and finishing my craft room in his spare time) Sometimes I pay for someone to do it but we are trying to save money in those areas right now and I just can't justify paying someone because I am so lazy! But fear not, ladies. I worked around my laziness one more time and again got someone else to do it for me! I am thrilled!

One last thing! Went to PF Changs after my fill last night! Was told full liquids and some mushies if I felt up to it and chewed! I got the Chinese Chicken Soup. I have at least 2 more servings of the soup left in my fridge! HUGE amount. But it was tasty. Try it sometime!

Time to wake the husband for work and get ready for my day as a child care provider!

~A

Happy Monday!

Hope everyone is having a great Monday! So far so good here! Nothing major to complain about or report! I really enjoyed spending time with my husband this weekend! We got a few chores does yesterday which was great! I cooked a fabulous meal which was yummy! Italian Beef Stew from Cooking Light mag if anyone is interested. Turned out really well!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the surgeon and hopefully my first fill! I am ready for this thing to start working! I am not eating like I was before but I am certainly eating more then I think I should! I am stuck at about 15lbs lost post surgery. I will try hard not to be very critical of myself because 15lb is certainly more then I would have lost with out the band supporting me. I also want to try and limit myself from comparing other peoples experiences to mine. SO HARD FOR ME. Because that is what you do when you are preparing for this surgery. You look at other blogs and websites and pictures and dream.  But ultimately if I can get down to a good weight...look good and feel confident then that is what matters. The band and I will have done the job.

Right now I am doing what I have always done. I am eating until I am too full. I ordered an appetizer of shrimp...ate about a 1/4 of it and ate a few bites of my husbands mac and cheese. Big mistake. It felt like thanksgiving dinner full.

How do I fix that? How do I know before I've gotten to far? Is that when the PBing sets in? Do you just get used to knowing your full feeling and stop yourself?

I always have eaten quality foods...not so much fast food or junk. It has always been quantity for me. To much of a good thing and I am too full. But it tastes good. So I keep going. Now I can tell the sheer amount is less but even today at lunch I made a grilled ham and cheese. I ate about 3/4 of it and I am so full. But I feel like I ate too much of even that!

I know this is bandster hell but I am one who prepares for everything. I don't like surprises. Even with the whole kid route..I'd like to know right now if we are going to have children. And if we aren't and can't then okay, but I want to start preparing myself for that ahead of time please. Is that to much to ask?! ha haa!

So I'd like to know ahead of time, please world and band...? Am I going to know when I am full enough? Am I going to always feel like I have had one bite to much? Thanks in advance!


Good thing is my doctor will do fills every 2 weeks if I want. Till I get to that spot! I hope that is a good thing for me!
So how are all you? I feel so behind in blog world. I'm sorry!

~A

At long last!

I am sorry and thankful  today!

Sorry that I am so far behind on my all blog reading! I will catch up I promise! Sorry I haven't been commenting lately! Things have been insane!

I am thankful that my husband is home! Thankful for my life (explanation on this later). Thankful that I don't have to cook tonight because with the amount of paperwork I have just had to catch up on I'll need a break tonight!

First things first! Thanks guys for all your comments on the "pain" I am having. I really think you all are right and it is a little port pain! I'll ask the doc on Tuesday!

We received quite a bit of snow here on Sunday and Chris' flight was canceled until Wednesday. No big deal except for Atlanta received snow and ice too! They are not prepared for it...even less then my small town! That whole place was turned upside down!

It normally takes me 2 hours to get to the airport maybe more because of traffic. It took me 5 hours. The interstates were still covered with ice. People were driving like maniacs. I was white knuckled the whole time and I literally had hives on my chest from the stress(sexy huh)! I got to the airport and was so happy to see Chris. We both decided it was safer to just stay in Atlanta for the night! Get a room, put our feet up, relax! That's what we thought!

We took an exit near the airport which had all known hotels. We see that the other side of the road has traffic lined up forever so Holiday Inn Express is in the next center. We miss it. Now normally I would have pressed on the brakes and whipped in anyway. Not when there is ice every where. We can't U turn because of the traffic so we keep on going. Mistake.

We drive and drive and drive. Traffic on the other side goes for 10 miles. No lie. Then BAM we hit traffic too. Right in a very seedy area. I see a hotel approaching. Oh look its right next to Vinnys House ..All Nude All the time..right next to it a sign says "Stay here, $21.99" erm no. Keep on driving. 1 inch of ice. In traffic going 5 mph. We have no idea where we are. But wait! We are close to an Interstate that I know takes us right into downtown Atlanta...Here's the problem,  the interstate is closed. Cops shuttling people off and blocking the exit on. So this is why there is major traffic.

We keep driving...So from 6-9 we are lost in a not so friendly part of a city that we really don't know..on ice that is worse then I have ever seen..with people that are driving like it's sun shinning!

That was just day one.

The next morning we take off about 10. (we had a lovely night in a really nice hotel) We start out on the interstate going 45mph. 2 out of 6 lanes closed. People flying along and then all the sudden the lane will be covered in ice and some one will slam on their breaks...a truck flies through 4 lanes spinning around and around facing oncoming traffic, slamming into the wall! We are the first on the scene to a couple of 70 year olds, banged up and scared. I call 911 with no help whatsoever about where we are! No exit numbers to be seen anywhere. All I can think is someone else is going to hit us while we are helping these people.

911 had a hard time finding us because there were two accidents one exit up and 1 just down from us. Insane. Why on earth were people driving so fast!

End of story, we are safe, we are home and I am happy to have him back! I got loads of treats including crumpets. Not the best thing but they do have 6 g of protein and I love them toasted in the morning!
Back to work just in time to finish up End of Year paper work and w-2s.

Needless to say we are staying in this weekend. I am going to cook something yummy and veg out with my husband!

Questions about some pains..

Well people we have about 10 inches of snow. Twice in a winter is big news for us here. Chris' flight arrives on Wednesday now...hopefully. Atlanta was hit too...and from what I hear today it is icy there.
But today I actually have a band related questions.

I am exactly 4 weeks out of surgery! I feel pretty good..eating pretty well. Lost about 30 lbs including preop. I am starting to walk more and I do notice that since solid food weight loss has slowed..or even halted. However I get a fill (hopefully) next week and I am not worried about a slow down as it was to be expected.

However I am having some pain on my right side...I'd say parallel to my belly button and lower then where my port and incision is. I feel it when I bend over or when I am lying down. It isn't a constant but I feel it more today then I have in the past. I have increased my activity level quite a bit. I've been walking all along but I started to do Just Dance over the weekend and yesterday I even shoveled snow. I am hoping that is the actually problem and that I am just a little sore from over doing more activities. What do you guys think? Did you feel totally normal at this point? Couldn't find anything on Lap Band Talk..

I so far behind on posts. Yesterday my connection was spoty due to the weather so I didn't read many updates! The party on Saturday was fun. I am hoping that perhaps that is another reason I am having some pain...

I am probably over reacting!

canceled

He was going to be here on Sunday at 4:45pm.


Now all the delta flights from England...Canceled till at least Tuesday!


BLAST.

 I was hoping he'd be home to vacuum. I hate vacuuming!


Snowing like crazy here!

ready for a fill..ready to feel something..

Bit frustrated this morning!

It snowed a little last night and is supposed to continue on through out the day. Perhaps up to 4 inches!~ Totally fine with me! If it gets to bad I'll send everyone (including myself) home for an early afternoon.

Tomorrow I am having a birthday party for my friend Robin. I am making Black Bean Enchiladas and Chocolate Raspberry cupcakes and everyone else is bringing the extras! I am also making a couple of batches of the 'Skinny Girl' Margaritas which will prove to be more like a real margarita..ya know sans the sugar.

Wednesday night I had dinner with Robin, her hubs and my God Daughter. She made spaghetti and turkey sausage. I probably ate about an oz of pasta and some sausage. But I had about 8oz of wine before and after dinner! Last night I had my friend Mandy over...I made kielbasa, cabbage, potatoes, and some greens. I ate moderately but had 2 glasses of wine at least after dinner.

I am eating much less. I know that I am. But every once in a while the old habit of eating to quickly happens. Over eating because it tastes good. Not because I am hungry. Because of no real restriction I don't feel the affects. If I eat to quickly and eat to much I am uncomfortable but still I've done it twice now!

Worst yet is that I am drinking more then I think I should be. I guess it will be better when Chris is home because I won't see my girlfriends as much. But I don't want to fall off the "band" wagon before I have even started. Grrr.

Next week I start working out again! I have been walking all along but I can start my little regiment at the gym. I think I will start swimming again soon too. Perhaps after another 5-10 lb loss.

My Doctor is very aggressive in his fill routine as far as I can tell! He says that he will do a fill every 2-3 weeks depending on how I am feeling and eating. He wants me to get to my spot but also tries to be conscience that my fills are included in the surgery package for the first 6 months or so.

So someone tell me this is just bandster hell? That even though I am not really eating quantity but that I can eat just about anything is just bandster hell? Someone tell me how they are getting enough veggies into their diet? Someone tell me that wine constitutes as a fruit/veggie (ha)? Someone be firm but assure me. Please!

in a total of 15 months...

In a total of 15 months I have had 2 miscarriages, 2 serious infections from said miscarriages, 1~ 4 day hospital stay from complications, countless antibiotics that stripped my digestive system, countless doctors appointments that resulted in nothing, and one lap band surgery. I know this seems like a depressing post and although I am a little tiny bit down and I miss my husband, but all in all I am so happy to think of what the next year holds. I wore jeans today I haven't tried on in over a year and I played 'Just Dance 2' with a dear friend. And laughed, a lot.

Chris will be home on Sunday, thank goodness. I thought 2 weeks would be nothing. I was wrong. That'll  teach me to have surgery a week before he was leaving. Looking forward to having some English goodies from my inlaws when he gets back. I get cooking items. Herbs and spices I can't get in my tiny town. Kaffier lime leaves for one (yum curries)

I have a new addiction...Tazo tea! I have always loved the passion one..but I bought some other flavors to try after buying a cheaper brand that tasted like hot flavored water! They are all so good and I think it is helping my water intake too. I also had a cup of coffee for the first time in quite a while. Before I was an every day coffee drinker..let me tell you it hit me hard. I talked everyone to death today. But I was so happy. I think my Loreal Lip Stain had something to do with it!

This isn't a pitty post. I promise. I just realized today that 14.5 months ago was the last time I was in England. Right after my first miscarriage. It honestly seems like it has been 3 years. But it hasn't. Insanity. And I am alright. There was a time when I thought I might not be. Thank Goodness that is over.

Determined.
my word.
I have been thinking of it a lot.
Determined. I am.

Recipes...Because I have nothing interesting to say!

My favorite cooking magazine is Eating Well. I give this magazine as a gift to my friends and family often. Everything I have ever made from it has turned out yummy. I even change the recipes a little to make them even lower in fat. My first couple of recipe comes from the mag.

If you aren't a greens (spinach, kale) fan but love potatoes try this. I also do the same thing with spinach and mashed potatoes in stead of shredded! I also start cooking the potatoes first before adding the kale. Skip the horseradish and add a little red pepper flakes if you want!

Kale & Potato Hash

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/kale_potato_hash.html
From EatingWell:  October/November 2005
Serve as a side with a steak or pork chops or set a poached egg on top for a hearty breakfast or brunch.
4 servings, 1/2 cup each | Active Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes

Ingredients

• 8 cups torn kale leaves, (about 1/2 large bunch; see Tip)
• 2 tablespoons horseradish
• 1 medium shallot, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups cooked shredded potatoes, (see Ingredient note)
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Preparation

1. Place kale in a large microwave-safe bowl, cover and microwave until wilted, about 3 minutes. Drain, cool slightly, and finely chop.
2. Meanwhile, mix horseradish, shallot, pepper and salt in a large bowl. Add the chopped kale and potatoes; stir to combine.
3. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the kale mixture, spread into an even layer and cook, stirring every 3 to 4 minutes and returning the mixture to an even layer, until the potatoes begin to turn golden brown and crisp, 12 to 15 minutes total.

Nutrition

Per serving : 240 Calories; 12 g Fat; 2 g Sat; 8 g Mono; 0 mg Cholesterol; 30 g Carbohydrates; 6 g Protein; 5 g Fiber; 244 mg Sodium; 651 mg Potassium

Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken & Vegetables

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/peanut_noodles_with_shredded_chicken_vegetables.html
From EatingWell:  June/July 2005, The EatingWell Healthy in a Hurry Cookbook (2006)
If you can't find a bagged vegetable medley for this easy noodle bowl, choose 12 ounces of cut vegetables from your market's salad bar and create your own mix.
6 servings, 1 1/2 cups each | Active Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 cup smooth natural peanut butter
• 2 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 1/2 teaspoons chile-garlic sauce, or to taste (see Ingredient note)
• 1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
• 8 ounces whole-wheat spaghetti
• 1 12-ounce bag fresh vegetable medley, such as carrots, broccoli, snow peas

Preparation

1. Put a large pot of water on to boil for cooking pasta.
2. Meanwhile, place chicken in a skillet or saucepan and add enough water to cover; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer gently until cooked through and no longer pink in the middle, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer the chicken to a cutting board. When cool enough to handle, shred into bite-size strips.
3. Whisk peanut butter, soy sauce, garlic, chile-garlic sauce and ginger in a large bowl.
4. Cook pasta in the boiling water until not quite tender, about 1 minute less than specified in the package directions. Add vegetables and cook until the pasta and vegetables are just tender, 1 minute more. Drain, reserving 1 cup of the cooking liquid. Rinse the pasta and vegetables with cool water to refresh. Stir the reserved cooking liquid into the peanut sauce; add the pasta, vegetables and chicken; toss well to coat. Serve warm or chilled.

Nutrition

Per serving : 363 Calories; 12 g Fat; 2 g Sat; 0 g Mono; 44 mg Cholesterol; 36 g Carbohydrates; 29 g Protein; 7 g Fiber; 348 mg Sodium; 287 mg Potassium

Braised Paprika Chicken

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/braised_paprika_chicken.html
From EatingWell:  January/February 2009
Sweet Hungarian paprika gives this creamy braised chicken the best flavor. This is a good “pantry dish” since you should have the basics on hand and only need to purchase the chicken. You may vary the recipe by using cubed veal shoulder instead of chicken and mushrooms instead of peppers. Serve with whole-wheat orzo flavored with minced parsley or dill.
6 servings | Active Time: 1 hour | Total Time: 1 hour 55 minutes

Ingredients

• 3-3 1/2 pounds bone-in chicken pieces, (thighs, drumsticks and/or breasts), skin removed, trimmed (see Tip)
• 3/4 teaspoon coarse salt, divided
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 4 cups finely diced onions
• Pinch of sugar
• 1 cup diced red bell pepper
• 1/2 cup diced green bell pepper
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons sweet paprika
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• 1 teaspoon dried marjoram
• 1 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
• 1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons finely minced fresh parsley, dill and/or chives

Preparation

1. Pat chicken pieces dry with paper towels and season with 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper.
2. Heat oil and butter in a large heavy casserole or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onions and sprinkle with sugar. Cook, stirring frequently, until the onions are very soft and light brown, 10 to 15 minutes.
3. Stir in bell peppers, tomato paste, paprika and crushed red pepper. Add the chicken and stir it gently into the onion mixture. Sprinkle with marjoram and add broth. Cover the pot with a tight-fitting lid and simmer over medium-low heat until the chicken is very tender, about 50 minutes.
4. Just before the chicken is done, whisk sour cream, flour and the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt in a small bowl until smooth.
5. When the chicken is done, remove it to a plate. Stir the sour cream mixture into the sauce; return to a simmer and cook, stirring, until the sauce coats the spoon. Reduce heat to low, return the chicken to the sauce and reheat, about 1 minute. Serve garnished with parsley, dill and/or chives, if desired.

Nutrition

Per serving : 331 Calories; 14 g Fat; 4 g Sat; 5 g Mono; 116 mg Cholesterol; 17 g Carbohydrates; 35 g Protein; 4 g Fiber; 384 mg Sodium; 705 mg Potassium

(boneless thighs work, boneless chicken breast get tough..I do not cook with green peppers nearly ever and I don't think I use the table spoon of butter. This dish is even better the next day and I make it often. Oh yah I don't use dried marjoram either. )

Low Fat Honey & Ginger Chicken Breasts

Ingredients

• 4 large boneless skinless chicken breasts
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1 -2 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 4 tablespoons water
• 2 -3 teaspoons ground ginger or 1 tablespoon freshly ground gingerroot
• 2 -4 garlic cloves, peeled & crushed
• salt, to taste
• fresh ground black pepper, to taste
• 1/2-1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 180C or 350°F.
2. Select a sturdy oven dish - preferably non-stick.
3. Place the chicken breasts into the baking dish.
4. Mix the honey, mustard, water, ginger & crushed garlic (and cayenne pepper if using) together in a measuring jug.
5. Pour over the chicken breasts, easing them up slightly so the mixture runs underneath them.

6. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste and bake in the oven for 45 to 60 minutes.
7. Serve one chicken breast per person with some of the cooking sauce drizzled over the top of the chicken.
8. Garnish with chopped parsley & serve with a medley of steamed vegetables & pasta.
9. To pan fry, heat up a frying pan and add the chicken breasts - dry fry them briefly to give them a bit of colour and add the cooking sauce, mix well and cook for about 20- 30 minutes over a medium heat.
10. Serve as before.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 (149 g)

Servings Per Recipe: 4

Calories 169.5

Total Fat 1.6g

Saturated Fat 0.4g

Cholesterol 68.4mg

Sugars 8.7 g

Sodium 119.9mg

Total Carbohydrate 10.0g

Dietary Fiber 0.2g

Sugars 8.7 g

Protein 27.6g

Garlic Lemon Chicken

Ingredients

• 4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves
• 4 teaspoons flour
• salt and pepper
• 2 teaspoons oil
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon butter

Directions

1. Flatten chicken slightly. Dust with flour. Salt and pepper chicken.
2. Fry in hot oil 5 minutes each side. Remove chicken from pan.
3. To pan add broth, garlic, lemon juice and butter. Cook 2 minutes. Pour over chicken.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 (159 g)

Servings Per Recipe: 4

Amount Per Serving

Calories 174.0

Calories from Fat 43

Total Fat 4.8g

Saturated Fat 1.3g

Cholesterol 70.9mg

Sugars 0.1 g

Sodium 179.0mg

Total Carbohydrate 2.5g

Dietary Fiber 0.1g

Sugars 0.1 g

Protein 28.1g

Thai Grilled Chicken Thighs

Ingredients

• 12 boneless skinless chicken thighs
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh basil
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh coriander ( cilantro)
• 1 tablespoon minced ginger
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon minced chili
• 1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fish sauce
• 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 1/2 tablespoons brown sugar

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients except chicken in a bowl.
2. Mix thoroughly.
3. Add chicken and leave to marinate at least one hour, preferably longer.
4. Grill chicken on the BBQ, hotplate or in the griller until golden brown and cooked through.
5. Ususlly you would expect 12 thigh fillets to feed 4 to 6 people- in my family the kids eat 4 each so this recipe serves 3.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 (242 g)

Servings Per Recipe: 4

Calories 330.5

Calories from Fat 121

Total Fat 13.5g

Saturated Fat 2.8g

Cholesterol 172.4mg

Sugars 5.4 g

Sodium 1100.7mg

Total Carbohydrate 7.9g

Dietary Fiber 0.6g

Sugars 5.4 g

Protein 42.3g

(I broil these or use my handy dandy grill pan. I omit the fish sauce...if I don't have fresh herbs I skip the basil and add the cilantro paste, instead of a chili pepper I use siracha or any hot sauce.)