I am good. Plain and simple.

I've done a lot of reflecting in between the chaos of my life right now. Stemming from recent posts about being ashamed of the band or "cheating". I believe Molly posted a blog about it a couple weeks back.

I have been silent mostly about my band. Telling only close friends and family. Not wanting the "oh she didn't do it the right way" or "she cheated" comments! I wanted only positive comments!

Hell I STILL want only positive comments.

But you know what? Like Molly said.... who the hell am I cheating and when did this become a game with winners and losers?? This is my life, my health, my happiness. I don't care if you THINK I am cheating.

But I sure am happier..So I guess that makes me the winner.

So in the last few weeks I have told more people then I really thought I would! Don't get me wrong, mostly they are well removed people from my every day life. And if I am honest they are people who needed to know because I am eating really strangely at this moment and I didn't want to insult there HUGE portions they were serving me. But I am becoming comfortable with explaining. But I still justify. I still give them the whole "I work really really hard at this" speech. So I guess that means I am not quite there yet. But I will get there.

I openly talk about my miscarriages with most people, I talk about the eczema on my face that I some times get, all without major issues. So I'll get there with this band. Until then, know this, I am happier and healthier then  I was one year ago today. This time last year, Right Lynda?!

So band.. *sappy romantic voice*  You complete me! *tears and joy*.

Now if you could just complete me a little faster I'd appreciate it, thanks!




Life As I Know It

So my little Crepe Myrtles. I am missing you all. Give me till Monday and I will be back on my regularly scheduled 'must comment on loads of blogs' ways. I had a great weekend. We visited dear friends in the city where I met my husband, where I wore heels and a suit to work everyday, and I gained most of this lovely weight. I really did. I ate take out often and Starbucks everyday with  no real exercise. Wowser.

My friend happens to have been my assistant during my Cooperate years and we just loved each other. 3 kids later and a stay at home mama now, I still love her. She and her husband are just so great. Chris and I always are happy to hang with them. Didn't hurt that I made a little money as well!

This week is just insane. I have a huge fashion show on Saturday. All my models are coming over tonight and we are working on a line up and make up...music...stuff like that. I stress about these things like mad. I am an event perfectionist. I want it to be as professional as possible. I need to be reminded that this is just little old Frank-town and anything I do will be fabulous! But I will still stress. My face has a huge honking zit that will not go away, it's that kinda stress.

I am in week 6 of my training. 6 weeks to go. Every morning I wake up and think of 10 things that could get me out of my 6 a.m session. But I still go. Today I was the only one there. Mega proud of me. It is hard. I will not lie. But I like it.

I am down on the scale this morning to 194. Wow. So the fill is working. At home it said 194-195 but at the gym it said 194. Can I just say that my scale at home has ALWAYS been lower then the gyms. Today it was lower at the gym! I'll take it. I did not get enough of anything yesterday. Not enough food or water. So today I am keeping a drink with me all day.

Okay. So bare with me. Next week I am all yours again! Toodles!