Justawallflower said something (in the link I just provided) that again paralleled with something in my own life. She was talking about compliments and said in a jokingly manor, I think, "I mean, how can you really accept a compliment from someone who knows about the surgery?" Here's how it pertained to me:
Wednesday I was helping out my Best Friend as her child care provider and she walked in with the baby and all the "stuff" that he requires. I am there in my comfy work out pants and a black t-shirt, my hair is a little messy. She proceeds to say how great I look and that my tummy area is definitely flatter. Wanna know what I did? I rolled my eyes and said ya right. I did not accept the compliment. It came from someone who knows I had WLS and I have daily battles with the fact that I haven't lost TONS of weight (more on that later). I basically shot down her compliment instead of saying "thank you, I feel great too". Which I do.
This really had me thinking this entire week. Why don't I accept compliments nearly ever? I don't accept them from my husband, my family, my friends. I pass them off and think nothing of them. This isn't to say I am nasty when someone pays me a compliment but I just kinda roll my eyes and move onward. Does my mind think people aren't being truthful...or that they must out of courtesy pay me a compliment? Is this my way of not accepting the success I have already had? Grrrr...double grrr.
I made the point of having a talk with my friend about it on Friday night during our martini session. I don't think I have totally cleared my issue up but I am going to be more mindful of the way I react to compliments. No one is trying to pull the wool over my eyes and compliment me when I don't deserve it. So instead of my instant reaction to a compliment which is typically "okay, but I haven't lost any weight" or "thanks, my hair looks awful today though" or an eye roll. I am going to say "Thank You. I feel great."
We'll see how I do!
I have a fill tomorrow. No PBing episodes over the weekend. I was really mindful of chewing. So I assume that I will have about 1cc of fluid or a little less. That will make me 6ccs total. They will continue to do fills every two weeks until I am at that spot. We let me tell you I am ready to be at that spot. I know this is a constant complaint in my blog and I truly am sorry. But I am ready to have some big loss. I tell myself everything I am supposed to...everything you tell me. It takes a while to get there...to that perfect spot. But goodness let me get there soon.
That being said let me give myself a peptalk...I am exercising a ton, I am eating well for the most part, I am logging my food...I am losing and I am not gaining. I feel good damnit. I am happy. Mostly.
Valentines Day! My birthday is Saturday so I never make that big of a deal about Valentines Day. I don't love chocolate or candy. I love flowers but I don't need them really, I buy my own when they are a great price (I love fresh flowers in my house). But I do always cook some kind of fabulous meal for my husband. He has requested ribs. As a treat I am making toblerone fondue...another blogger is making the same thing. I found it on one of my apps on Le iPad. So I have angel food cake and strawberries to dip!
Back to my birthday...honestly I am fine with doing something low key but another friends birthday is tomorrow and we are having a joint party. It is a girls night and we are making a champagne punch and we are all wearing our best high heels and consequently bringing our favorite slippers. Probably be a little hot tub action and tasty food too. Saturday during the day I have organized my friends together for a private Zumba (and various other high energy type classes) class. The instructor is a friend from High school and she has offered to do it for free. I am really looking forward to it. My dear friend is a dance instructor and is allowing us to use her huge studio...so hopefully it will be a success. I have been wanting to try it for a long time. I've been resisting the class mainly because of being embarrassed to look like a fool. But this way I can look like a fool in front of people who see me act one all the time! :)
Yesterday I spent 6.5 hours organizing my craft room. The table and desk are done and now it is up to me to decorate and organize. 6.5 hours is a long time but I am not nearly done. But I am really thrilled!
Happy Monday, ya'll. I've rambled long enough!
Ohh...Whose planning on going to Chicago for BOOBs? Think you will room mate with other girls??
15 comments:
Compliments can be difficult - especially after I've received the "you've got such a pretty face......." type. I suppose we all need to learn how to accept compliments gracefully - whether they're sincere or not. Thanks for giving me something to think about today!
And your Valentines dinner sounds soooo amazing!! Wow!! What time shall I be there??? And, I want to come to your Zumba class AND birthday fandango!! Sounds sooooo wonderful!!
I can't wait to hear all about them!!
Ah, thank GOD people further down the banding trail write blogs.... Finally I am banded. So many questions and so much to learn. PBing...would love to think I'm going to get away without that, but guess that is all part of the learning curve. Enjoy the toblerone fondue xx
First of all I wanted to say, a surprise birthday party for me? I mean, mine is tomorrow, so you have to be talking about me, right?
Obviously I have issues with compliments, as was mentioned. But it is a bigger issue than just making a joke about it in my post. It was actually talked about it detail with my psychologist. I can't accept any compliments even from my husband. She said that to help, when paid a compliment, say thank you and feel good about it, even if you have to fake it. eventually you will no longer be faking it, and you really will mean thanks! anyway, thats my 2 cents!
I have gotten better with compliments as time and weight loss has gone on. Being able to accept a compliment is linked to your self worth and for about a billion years mine was nonexistent. Slowly it's coming back and I can handle a compliment.
I hope you have a great birthday!
I'm definitely going to BOOBS - hope you come. I would love to meet you.
Happy Birthday, Buddy! I am hoping to go to BOOBS- Ned to work out the details with hubby first, though, re: daughter. Fingers crossed!
Good luck with the fill- you will get to the elusive spot soon, I am still not quite there either, btw!
Remember to drink in the office tomorrow after the fill to make sure it goes down ok.
Btw, your birthday plans sound so fun!
Xxxooo
A
Happy Birthday, friend! :) Your plans sound like SO much fun!!!
I need to work on compliments also. I am horrible at rolling my eyes but I have been more aware lately and am trying to do better.
You're doing fabulous and I'm super proud of you! :) As for BOOBS, yes and I hope we'll be roomies! Hugs.
I don't think having lapband surgery makes us less worthy of compliments. Your birthday celebration sounds like so much fun. I love my girls' nights out. I went last year and it was a lot of fun - looking forward to going again.
i used to be so guilty of this. a friend would compliment my shoes or top and i'd say, "oh this, it was like $3." Or the eye roll. Or the "Yeah but...." Until one time my friend said, "You know---that is just not gracious. Stop dismissing my compliments. When you do that, you are basically saying that my opinion is wrong." Hmmm, i never thought of it like that til she was so blunt. it gave me something to think about....i'm still guilty here and there, but not as much.
First, accept the compliments. The band isn't a "cure all" for weight loss. We still have to exercise and eat right. Secondly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Third, I will be in Chicago!!!
Accept the compliments... or better yet force yourself to look in the mirror and give yourself one good compliment a day. You deserve it... The band doesn't take away the hard work and challenge of weight loss. Every pound lost should be celebrated. I will be in Chicago for BOOBS too. I have a great time there last year.
I have never been graceful with accepting compliments. I roll the eyes and scoff. Working on that myself!
I can accept compliments, I just never get 'em. Why can't there be a happy medium?! LOL
I hope you have a great birthday, a private Zumba lesson? AWESOME! You gals are gonna have a blast. :)
I am definitely going to BOOBs. :D And I think I'm definitely going to be rooming with at least one other girl, maybe two. lol
I absolutely feel the same way with compliments and I'm trying really hard to get better. It's working. The other day, my dad mentioned how my belly is going away and I just said. "Thanks. I'm working on it." Felt good to just accept it.
I want to go to BOOBS so bad but I doubt I'll be able to afford it.
Hey Amanda, Yes, I did notice that the FDA approved of lap band for the lower BMI's. It's good news! Now we just have to wait for insurance to agree to pay for that group of people too. My BMI was 39.3 with 2 co-morbidities of high BP and high cholesterol. They decided my BP wasn't "bad enough" b/c I was on one medicine (they require 3 meds). I'm appealing the decision b/c the reason I was on one medication instead of more is because I have major bladder issues (a chronic disease called IC) that would be aggravated by additional BP meds. They aren't using their brains.
Happy birthday, sweetie! :)
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